Metaphysician Dr. Sonia Killik (Mpsy.D) is a self-development specialist. Her passion is human potential and partners high-achievers on their road to freedom and growth. She has spent many years contributing to both national and international publications, writing about all areas of the human experience and psyche. After qualifying as a metaphysical psychologist, she opened a life coaching practice and has been a sought-after contributor in the areas of personal empowerment, and change implementation.
Sonia is the author of Birth: Empowering Women Through their Childbirth Choices and Coach My Life: How to Shake the Past and Shape Your Future. She was the columnist for Me Magazine, and was awarded the Outstanding Community Honour for promoting the human rights and empowerment of women. In addition to this, Sonia was recognised by Marie Claire as one of the Female Green Warriors of the Year.
She is the extremely proud mother to a vivacious and fearless daughter, owns an enviously impressive bookshelf, is a clandestine poet, is easily seduced by adrenalin and has a sense of humour that will either have you blushing or laughing, but never bored.
Please tell us a little more about yourself and your journey thus far.
Where to start… I had a difficult upbringing that led to a lot of internal pain and trauma. By 14 years old I had turned to drugs as a coping mechanism. Despite my formative years being quite isolated and painful, I always believed that there was a bigger picture to my life, and it was necessary that I understood what pain and fear were by experiencing them. By 18yrs old, I realized that if I did not change my life, I probably wouldn’t see 20.
Unfortunately, what I had to work with was a severely fractured and shattered mind and heart. I had to learn not only how to heal all the different parts of me, but also, how to fit in with society and engage with people. I embarked on a massive journey of finding knowledge and solutions. I went to every workshop I could find, read every book I could, and eventually found my way to studying metaphysics. It was a very, very long road of peeling back the proverbial onion – I had to remake myself from the inside out. It was years filled with juxtapositions: my external world became healthier and healthier (studying, starting my own business, etc), but my internal one was still filled with turmoil as I struggled to connect my knowledge with all the fear and pain still living within me.
I was blessed to meet my ex-husband, not because he was a wonderful man, but the complete opposite. Through my relationship with him, I was given the opportunity to develop my strength, find my voice, soften my heart, and establish boundaries.
My next profound gift was the birth of my daughter. It was the first time in my life where love was ‘safe’ to express and experience. I raised her alone from when she was 1 year old, and it was those years that finally bridged the gap between knowledge and application within me. I learned how to embrace my fear, accept my pain, practice vulnerability, build beautiful relationships, and proudly be all of me without shame or permission.
My journey as a coach has reflected my personal one. I am deeply passionate about sharing the tools I have both discovered and created with those who truly want to live a limitless life, a true life, a profound life – and a peaceful life.
My soul searching has allowed me to be creative with my own being. I have climbed mountains, written books, competed professionally, tried out different talents, traveled the world, and met some incredible people.
I guess in a nutshell, I could describe my journey so far as a richly diverse adventure which I have learned to enjoy rather than resist.
Please tell us a little more about how your company came about.
I was always consumed with the need to understand what a human being is; why we suffer, what motivates us, why some people seem to succeed easier than others, and above all – what is the nature of pain and how does it affect what it is we are. I knew that the vast majority of societal, cultural, gender, and personal challenges we face can all be traced back to unresolved pain. The solution to healing was something I was deeply passionate about sharing.
I read every book I could find on the subject, I attended workshops and therapies and different types of healing methodologies ranging from the enneagram to breath-work. In my early 20’s I studied metaphysics as I found this was the perfect combination of psychology, philosophy, science, and spiritualism, which were the elements I had identified as the means in which to tackle the big question: what is a human?
After qualifying, I didn’t know how to translate my knowledge into a career. I was introduced to a life coach (which profession was fairly new to the country) and embarked on a 12-week life coaching journey. The results were so profound in my own life that I realised this tool could be the mechanism that I could use to utlise my experience and create an impact in people’s lives. I knew that to truly create change we had to stop wishing and start doing, the system of life coaching provided that measurable and tangible change that results from taking action.
I then hit the books again and qualified as a life coach in 2006. My company has grown to include a non-profit arm (now sadly closed), adolescent, personal and professional services.
Should you be busy with any interesting initiatives, please tell us a little more about it.
A lot!!! I have far too many projects on the go.
• I am about to launch my Miserable to Marvellous course which I have collaborated on with Jenny Porteous (very exciting).
• I think I am finally ready to start my third book.
• I have recently partnered with 2 other phenomenal women to create Thrive Wellness Solutions which is a corporate solution to wellness for leaders and teams.
• And finally I have begun putting pen to paper on another course I am building (but it is hush hush for now :-))
What is it that you are passionate about?
Human potential – we are limitless!!! The only question is how to tap into it and what needs to happen in order to free our power.
Who or What has been the biggest influence in your life and why?
I would say my pride – I won’t lie, it has caused problems for me in the past – but it has also bolstered me and given me the boost that I needed when I felt overwhelmed.
It has helped to shape my morals, values, behaviours, and choices. I refuse to admit defeat, I refuse to be influenced by another person’s opinion or treatment of me, I refuse to take what I have not earned, and I refuse to give in to hate and resentment.
For external influences – I would say every author whose words gave me the inspiration and insight that I needed throughout my life.
What is your personal “motto”?
I AM NOT DONE YET!
This was an old Nike advert that sunk into my brain and has been my number one pick-me-up since then. For me, it means that no matter how tired I am, or scared, defeated or lost – I AM NOT DONE YET!!!
What advice would you give a woman wanting to follow her dreams?
Be clear about what it is you want to achieve and why. It is too easy to get lost in the bigger picture and big dream which usually leads you to give up before you’ve given it a real shot. Focus on taking the first step, then the next. One step at a time and for goodness sakes – enjoy the process!
Balance optimism with reality, your dreams aren’t going to manifest overnight, and often where we land up is completely different from what we initially envisioned – different and better!! The most important thing is to keep taking brave action forward.
Who or what is your inspiration and why?
My inspiration is the beauty of humanity. Heroism, courage, dance, music. When we create with love we are capable of the most profound beauty, both physically and spiritually. This always reminds me of the good in the world and that we must never give up on our path.
What advice would you give your younger self?
Nobody cares about you, which is a good thing! It means you don’t need to change who you are to fit in, you don’t need to ask permission to follow your dreams, you don’t even need to worry about what people may say or think about you.
Use this freedom to give yourself all the energy and focus that you have. You will find your tribe, you will find your purpose – but only if you don’t waste time trying to get what you need from others. Everything you need is within you. Grab it!!
Your favourite daily affirmation:
I have a few – I changed my affirmations from statements into questions as research shows this is more effective. Every day I say:
• Why are all my relationships filled with love and respect?
• Why is it safe for me to be so wealthy?
• Why am I always in perfect health and shape?
Your favourite quote:
I have a few and all from my most favourite of poets/philosophers… Oscar Wilde.
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” ~Oscar Wilde
“You can suffer the pain of change or suffer remaining the way you are.” ~Oscar Wilde
“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.” ~Oscar Wilde
and my last one which I made up myself:
“I refuse to be defeated, even by myself” ~Sonia Killik
Which book are you currently reading?
• Daring Greatly (Brené Brown)
• Concentration: A guide to mental mastery (Mouni Sadhu)
Which book can you read over and over again?
Whew, I am an avid fantasy lover, I have been collecting my book-babies since I was 12 years old and probably have over 1000 books in that genre. I have read all of them at least twice. I find that the fantasy genre has taught me more about the human condition than anything else has.
My favourite authors are Terry Pratchett, Robin Hobb, Peter V Brett… actually… I love all of them!
What are your top 3 business tips?
1. Educate yourself about the skills and systems that you need, but don’t get stuck there. You will get further trying and failing, than doing endless research.
2. Trust the process, I have changed my mind and direction a hundred times – but I kept moving forward and never give up.
3. It is more important to actively sell than procrastinating by spending your time and money on marketing and connecting on social media. Focus on building real relationships with people than going after empty likes and followers that don’t translate into paying clients.
What would you say is your secret to success?
Never giving up and adapting. Life happens, don’t be so attached to a single path that you lose sight of opportunities or begin to doubt yourself.
One piece of (general) advice that you’d like to share:
Fear is your guide and your body is your magician.
– Follow your fear to break open your comfort zone and find your true power.
– Build an unshakable relationship with your body because it is your truth barometer and will either stop you (if you do not allow it to feel all that there is) or propel you (when it is in a state of calm and neutrality).
YouTube: Sonia Killik
You can find out more about Sonia here.
Inspirational Talks by Sonia – Face Your Fears – Get What You Want!